


Uprooted

by sachi_sama



Series: Love In Bloom [7]
Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Codependency, M/M, Masturbation, Reunion Sex, Separation Anxiety, Unhealthy Relationships, Yakuza
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:40:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25700731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sachi_sama/pseuds/sachi_sama
Summary: Shizuo finds himself in a different city. Izaya isn't pleased.
Relationships: Heiwajima Shizuo/Orihara Izaya
Series: Love In Bloom [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1696390
Comments: 29
Kudos: 124





	Uprooted

**Author's Note:**

> "I want to hold you close,  
> Soft breasts, beating heart,  
> As I whisper in your ear  
> I want to fucking tear you apart." - ["Tear You Apart"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RsjJ8Sd3kNo) by: She Wants Revenge

Shizuo has known from the beginning that it's not the best idea, but like fuck he's going to admit it to Izaya.

The day before Shizuo left, there weren't many words shared between them. Izaya would barely look at him, was clearly pouting. He sat at his computer all night and made Shizuo go to bed alone, even when Shizuo tried to forcefully drag him, all Izaya had said was, “I have work to do. Go to bed, you've got a _big_ day tomorrow.” Shizuo hadn't slept at all. He was dreading leaving and he only wanted to go downstairs and drape himself over Izaya, curl at Izaya's feet if he had to, just to be in close proximity. He didn't feel right without Izaya by his side, and it's only amplified more and more since then.

Shiki called him, offering him a small job as a bodyguard. It was to be a short trip into Nagoya, just a few days. One of Shiki's personal guards was injured in a previous job, and while Shiki didn't expect anything to happen, he still liked the idea of Shizuo accompanying him to ensure it.

“ _You're infamous,”_ Shiki had said through the phone. Shizuo wondered if Shiki waited to call until he thought Izaya wouldn't be around. It was excellent timing. Izaya had been out getting a manicure with Ruri, the two of them a pair of odd friends. The phone rang almost as soon as Izaya walked out.

“ _Think of it like this, an offer to make your own money without Izaya-san's guidance. You don't want him thinking you're a personal toy of his, do you?”_ Shiki had asked, and Shizuo wasn't worried about Izaya thinking of him as anything of the sort, but he _did_ like the idea of making some extra money. He told Shiki he had to think about it. Izaya wasn't pleased.

“You work for _me_ ,” Izaya had said upon returning. He looked angry, but his voice was level. “What am I, some stair-step to get to Shiki-san?”

“Of course not,” Shizuo said. “I just thought— I don't know. It's kind of cool he asked me, is all.”

“You're a walking one-man army. Of course he asked you,” Izaya said, and then he shrugged, his face going expressionless, Shizuo's least favorite of Izaya's various masks. “Do what you want. It's not as if I need you here.”

Even now, Shizuo doesn't know why that rattled him so much. He had been planning on telling Shiki he was flattered, but not interested. After Izaya's words, Shizuo accepted, and next thing he knew, he was flying first class into Chubu Centrair International Airport along with Shiki and two other men.

The first thing Shizuo did upon arriving to his hotel room was call Izaya. He could tell Izaya was pissed that Shizuo actually left. Izaya let the phone ring a few times before answering, and he was still speaking in that same bored tone.

“ _I've been thinking, since this trip clearly stemmed from some desire to get away from me—“_

“It's not,” Shizuo interrupted. “It's just a job, Izaya. I've always done odd jobs.”

“ _Right, right. Either way, feel free not to check in with me. I've got my own work to do. I won't be around as much to answer your calls,”_ Izaya said, and Shizuo hated that response so much that he bent and cracked the counter in his bathroom.

“What work?” Shizuo asked. He knew Izaya was tracking some killer and had been a while, but from Shizuo's understanding, it was to be very hands-off, not to be dealt with until Shiki returned.

“ _Work,”_ Izaya said, and then he laughed wickedly. _“You're not working with me right now, so you're not privy to my information, especially not over the phone.”_

“Izaya— Fuck, don't be like this. It's just for a few days. Are you seriously going to ignore me the entire time I'm here?”

There was a pause, the rustling of fabric. Shizuo pictured Izaya lying on their bed, feet waving in the air behind him. If Shizuo was there, he'd be fitting himself on top of Izaya's back, pressing him into the mattress and making it harder for Izaya to concentrate on his call.

“ _It's just an odd job,”_ Izaya said at last, parroting Shizuo's words back to him. _“You wanted to miss me. So miss me.”_ Izaya hung up then, and Shizuo destroyed the bathroom counter entirely. He felt terrible about it afterwards, but Shiki was oddly understanding, even invited Shizuo out to some restaurant with himself and the two other men. Shizuo accepted, thinking that staying in the room would only make him angrier, especially if Izaya was truly going to ignore all his texts.

Presently, Shizuo is picking at some pasta while Shiki converses with the others about business. Shizuo isn't very interested in the conversation, never really wanted to get involved in these Yakuza politics. He wouldn't even be friendly with these people if not for Izaya. Izaya, who isn't doing anything, but still won't text Shizuo anyway.

“Is the food not to your liking, Shizuo-san?” Shiki asks, and Shizuo looks up at him. He thinks to himself that he should have ordered wine. Everyone else did, but Shizuo wasn't familiar with any of the brands, and he doesn't like wine much aside from sake, but the prices are all outrageous. Shizuo is paid well by Izaya, but he's not willing to pay prices like these. Already, he wants to be home.

“It's fine,” Shizuo says shortly. The man to Shiki's right, a short, fat, balding man named Eiji, laughs.

“You've been glancing at your phone all day,” Eiji says, and Shizuo tenses, still in a very bad mood.

“Ah,” Shiki says, and then he sips his wine. “I hope I haven't caused an argument.”

“It's fine,” Shizuo says again. The big man seated next to Shizuo doesn't say anything. He's likely here for the same reason Shizuo is, added muscle. His name is Takumi or Takahiro or something. Shizuo doesn't care to know.

“Woman troubles?” Eiji asks, and Shizuo snaps his fork in half.

“Eiji-san, I'll ask you not to mention or ask anything relating to Shizuo-san personal life,” Shiki says smoothly. “If he launches you across this restaurant, I'd rather not have to pay for the damages.”

“Alright, alright,” Eiji says, still chuckling. “I don't mean to pry. I _am_ married though, for what it's worth.” He lifts his left hand, showing the ring. “I know how to make a woman forgive you.”

“Izaya isn't a woman,” Shizuo says tightly. He digs his fingers into his thigh, tries to focus on that pain and not his anger. It's been so long since he was this short-tempered. Izaya is unusually adept at calming Shizuo down, could easily defuse this situation, but Shizuo is on his own here, and he's beginning to remember why being alone always causes the worst of his breakdowns.

“That— The informant?” Eiji looks over at Shiki, a perplexed expression on his face. “The pretty one?”

Shizuo stands abruptly, almost toppling the table over with him. He leans over it, snarling in the fat man's face.

“Shut the fuck _up_ about him!” Shizuo snaps. The restaurant is very quiet, all eyes on them. “Another word, and you'll be the meat in tomorrow's bolognese!”

Shiki merely looks up at him, unfazed, but Eiji is trembling, with fear or rage, Shizuo doesn't care to know. He digs around in his wallet, but Shiki shakes his head.

“You won't be paying for anything since you're here as my guest. Meet me in the lobby tomorrow morning at seven.”

Shizuo nods, an angry jerk of his head, and then he's storming out, almost knocking over a busboy as he goes. He's so mad, so _mad_ , and he wants Izaya, but Izaya is hours away, probably getting himself into something terrible, all because he's a horrible fucking person. Shizuo hates him so much, and hates it even more that he loves Izaya more than he hates him.

It's not a long walk back to the hotel. Shizuo doesn't want to call a cab, and it's a clear night anyway. He lights a cigarette as he walks, takes his phone out. No new messages. Huffing, he calls Izaya, and the sound of Izaya's voicemail only makes him angrier. He ends up calling Tom, who is also good at calming Shizuo down.

“ _Shizuo! Hey, what's up?”_ Tom asks, and Shizuo exhales, glad to hear Tom's voice. He should call Tom more often. They've been friends a long time, and Tom has always been very level-headed, something Shizuo envies and admires. Shizuo thinks Izaya would probably be considered level-headed too if he wasn't so fucking insane.

Shizuo talks about the trip, and the fight with Izaya, if they're even fighting. He doesn't know for sure, since Izaya has a habit of shutting him out once upset. Tom makes a choked sort of noise, and then he's laughing in the phone.

“ _Sorry, that made me choke on my beer,”_ Tom says, and then he laughs again. _“Of course he's fighting with you. Is this new? I would have thought the two of you fought all the time.”_

“No, not— I mean, we argue, but there isn't much fighting,” Shizuo says, frowning.

“ _Surreal! You were always shooting off after him no matter what we were doing. I thought it was understandable, though, since he was always meddling in your life, and you didn't have to hold back with him.”_

“You were more understanding than anyone else,” Shizuo says. He tosses his cigarette butt in the trash and lights another, still a little ways from the hotel.

“ _I never would have thought Izaya-san was the clingy type,”_ Tom says.

“Clingy?”

“ _Yeah, but I guess it fits. The guy wouldn't rest unless you were chasing after him. He's, uh. Well. He's crazy, you know? Like, no one in their right mind would coerce you into a fight, but he did it daily.”_ Tom pauses. _“Sorry, I'm not trying to make you mad. I hope I'm not. As long as you're happy with him, I'm happy for you.”_

“Thanks,” Shizuo says. Tom has more dating experience than him, and even if Shizuo's relationship with Izaya is...unconventional, he thinks if anyone would have decent advice, it would be Tom. “So, you think Izaya is...clingy.”

“ _Maybe clingy isn't the right term. I don't know, maybe it's more like...attention-starved?”_

“How is he starved for attention and _ignoring_ me? That doesn't make sense,” Shizuo says, and Tom laughs again.

“ _He's angry you left without him. Maybe he wanted you to invite him along.”_

Shizuo ponders this. It wasn't his invitation to extend, and Izaya is closer to Shiki than Shizuo is. If Izaya really wanted to come along, he could have. It's not like this is a trip for pleasure.

He hangs up with Tom a little while later, and then he makes his way into his hotel room, which had to be changed after he destroyed the counter and sink. He sees a handyman watching him crossly as he crosses through the lobby to the elevators, but it's not like Shizuo can blame the guy.

Shizuo doesn't sleep worth a shit. The bed isn't right, isn't soft like Izaya's, doesn't smell like Izaya. Shizuo doesn't know when he started to associate Izaya's scent with _home_ and _comfort_ , but without Izaya there to grab onto, Shizuo can't relax. He texts Izaya once around three in the morning.

_I cant sleep._

Izaya doesn't respond.

Grumbling, Shizuo rolls out of bed and opens his luggage, his heart clenching when he sees the neat little rows of items Izaya packed for him. Izaya wasn't talking much at the time, but he did refuse to let Shizuo pack his own things. He rolled his eyes and muttered something about looking professional, and then he shooed Shizuo away with a flick of his wrist.

Inside the case are crisp, button downs, suit pants, and jackets. They're all folded neatly, and next to them are rows of socks, underwear, expensive cologne Izaya bought for him a few weeks back. There's a little piece of paper tucked into the pocket of one of the jackets, and Shizuo unfolds it, recognizing Izaya's pristine penmanship.

_I'm steadily replacing your wardrobe. No more bartender uniforms, you idiot, you've been a bodyguard for years._

Izaya even signed it, as if Shizuo would ever question who wrote it. He finds himself fingering the characters of Izaya's name wistfully, not even caring about whatever fate is befalling his usual clothes in his absence. He slips the note in his pocket after he's dressed, keeps it as a reminder of what he's looking forward to going home to: an angry, irritable Izaya, who lovingly packed Shizuo's case and topped it off with an insulting note.

Shizuo goes down to the lobby a little earlier than Shiki asked. There's a cheap breakfast special for guests, as well as complimentary snacks. Shizuo decides to pay so he can sit and enjoy some time to himself before a long day of pandering to some Yakuza assholes. According to Shiki, this is a business trip, as well as a peacemaking operation. The Awakusu is attempting to absorb a smaller group rather than annihilate them, some of their members the very same men that attacked and broke Izaya's ribs that day when the meeting “went south.” Shizuo doesn't have high hopes about it going well. If anything, it'll be over quicker if Shizuo has to go on the offensive. He's definitely got some pent up rage to work through.

He's eating bacon, chewing angrily when his phone buzzes. He picks it up, deflating when he sees it's not Izaya. It's Celty, and he brightens again at the prospect of chatting with her.

 _Long time, no see!_ Celty sent. Shizuo wipes bacon grease off his hands before responding.

_Yo._

_Wanna meet up? Shinra is busy all day and I don't have any jobs. I'm bored!_

_I can't. I'm out of town._ Shizuo sends.

 _Oh! Did you and Izaya take a trip? Where did you go? I want to take Shinra on a trip soon too. Maybe a hot spring!_ Celty replies. Shizuo doesn't mind the thought of taking Izaya to a hot spring. Izaya looks amazing all the time, but even more so when he's wet.

_Not exactly. I went on a trip with that Shiki guy._

_?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!??!?!!?!?!?_

Shizuo snorts before responding. _I know. It's a bodyguard job and he's paying out the ass. Izaya is pissed at me._

 _I'm just shocked! It's not like you. I thought you hated shady Yakuza stuff?_ Celty sends.

 _I do and I know. It was just a lot of money and then Izaya made me mad about it so I went._ Shizuo sends it, and then he adds, _He's not talking to me now._

_Have you told him you miss him?_

_No. I won't until he talks to me._ Shizuo realizes how stubborn that sounds, but Izaya is equally, if not _more_ stubborn. They'll be at an impasse until Shizuo returns, most likely.

 _I know you very well. And Izaya regrettably well. You probably hurt his feelings, if he has any._ Celty replies. _I think he does, about you at least._

_Yeah but he's a flea bastard. Will you do me a favor and keep an eye on him?_

_You think he's up to something?_ Celty asks.

 _Yes. He's mad at me and fuming so who knows what he's up to. Just don't let him get hurt please._ Shizuo sends it, and then goes back to eating his breakfast. It's almost time to meet Shiki. It takes Celty a few minutes to reply.

_I've enlisted Shinra. We'll barge in on him before you get back!_

Shizuo smiles and puts his phone in his pocket. He pays the waitress when she comes by, and then he goes into the lobby, arriving right before the elevator doors open to reveal Shiki and the Takeuchi muscly guy.

“Shizuo-san, I hope you weren't waiting long,” Shiki says pleasantly.

“Nah. So, uh. What's on the agenda?” Shizuo asks.

“Not much, I'm afraid,” Shiki says, walking, and Shizuo follows after him. “Our meeting isn't until tomorrow evening. Today, I'm inviting a few of my contacts from within to lunch. I'm afraid it'll be dull for you.”

“Dull is okay,” Shizuo says.

“Is it? But your usual life is so exciting.” A car is waiting outside, and Shizuo gets in after Shiki, Takeshi afterwards. Shiki gives the driver an address, and they're off.

It _is_ dull. Shizuo never knew how many politics were involved in these meetings, not to mention the air of condescension that surrounds them all. There are two guys from the other organization, both of them younger than Shiki but older than Shizuo. Shizuo doesn't bother remembering their names, has enough to think about as it is. Besides, his job is to protect Shiki. It's not as if anyone will be asking his opinion or input.

“New face here,” one of the guys says. He's got wisps of white in his hair and big, bushy eyebrows. “Younger than you usually employ.”

They're in a nice looking office, though not as swanky as Shizuo is used to. Shortly after Shizuo moved in with Izaya, Izaya stopped meeting clients at his home, opted to instead rent out an office space. Namie is there frequently, but Shizuo has still managed to fuck Izaya over most of the surfaces there. Even thinking about it makes his dick twitch with interest, and Shizuo is quickly trying to think about other things.

“This is Heiwajima Shizuo,” Shiki says, and both of the other men go rigid. “He's been working with us, so he graciously accompanied me.”

“Hardly fair, is it?” Speckled Beard asks. “You've got the strongest man in the world on your side.”

“It's only unfair if you're planning on fighting me,” Shiki says pleasantly, and Shizuo goes back to zoning out after the conversation drifts away from himself.

He's close to nodding off by the time Shiki stands to leave. They're going out to lunch with the men. Shizuo isn't very hungry, but he could definitely use more coffee, not to mention a smoke break. The driver from before is waiting outside. The other men have their own transport.

“I'd like to thank you both for your patience,” Shiki says once they're inside the car. “If it were up to me, we wouldn't be on this trip. I get the feeling their compliance isn't something we can count on.”

“You think they'll try something?” Taka-something asks. Shiki sighs.

“If they do, it's practically suicide. None of them are very bright, so I'm not ruling it out.” Shiki tilts his head a bit, and Shizuo knows Shiki is observing him in the mirror. “Izaya-san said this was a pointless trip. He's rarely wrong.”

“You asked Izaya?” Shizuo asks.

“He did some digging for me. Most of these guys are younger. Too eager. The only power on their side is money. I find it to be in poor taste, but violence isn't my first choice. I'd rather them listen to reason.” Shiki sighs again. “I brought both of you because I believe reason might be out the window. I'm also still angry about their infiltration and attack on our previous meeting, as I'm sure you are, Shizuo-san.”

Shizuo grunts. It took weeks for Izaya to move regularly again. He didn't stop going out, not even when Shizuo nagged him, but he wasn't fast for quite a while. Shizuo was only glad to be with Izaya and make sure he didn't get into anything he couldn't get himself out of. The thought makes his stomach sour, and he's glad Celty promised to check in on Izaya.

They get kishimen noodles for lunch, a must-have in Nagoya. They're delicious, and Shizuo wants to enjoy them, but he's not very hungry, hasn't been since arriving. It's just easier to focus on food than the boring conversation between the others, especially if it's really as pointless as Shiki believes.

“You can smoke, if you like,” Shiki tells Shizuo, probably noticing how antsy Shizuo is getting. “Takahashi-san is here.”

Taka _hashi_. Okay, so Shizuo was close. He'll try to remember the guy's name, but it's not like Takahashi has been speaking or doing much thus far. Shizuo nods and stands, excusing himself to stand outside the restaurant and light up a cigarette. He checks his phone again, growls when there's nothing new.

Fucking _Izaya._ Shizuo hates how Izaya being quiet somehow unnerves him more than if Izaya was blowing up Shizuo's phone with notifications. It's not like Izaya to be this silent, and Shizuo knows this is exactly what Izaya wants to accomplish, making Shizuo worry like this.

Angrily, Shizuo calls Izaya again. There's no answer, of fucking course, but even the sound of Izaya's voicemail recording makes Shizuo's stomach lift a bit before it resumes feeling full of lead. It really is pathetic how used to Izaya's presence Shizuo is, how used to Izaya Shizuo has _always_ been, even before they started dating or whatever the hell they're calling it. Shizuo considers leaving Izaya a voicemail and then stubbornly decides Izaya doesn't deserve to hear his voice.

After the lunch is over with, the other men leave, and Shiki looks weary. He glances over at Shizuo.

“Takahashi-san and I are going to drink some bourbon,” Shiki says. “Would you like to join us?”

“Uh,” Shizuo says. He was kind of looking forward to napping, but having a few drinks first seems like it couldn't hurt anything. “Yeah, sure.”

They wind up at a nice, dimly lit bar. It reminds Shizuo of the bar he worked at for a while before Izaya got him fired. Shizuo really enjoyed it there. It was quiet, the sort of place people brought their coworkers for meetings. Shizuo wonders if that's what this is, and he doesn't like the idea of being a coworker to the Yakuza.

Shizuo finds himself on a cushy couch, Takahashi on his left. Shiki sits near them in an armchair, his ankle folded over his knee as he leans back. He holds out a cigar, and an employee comes to cut it for him, as well as light it.

“Would you like one, Shizuo-san? Takahashi-san?” Shiki asks.

“Sure,” Shizuo says. He's only smoked a cigar once or twice in his life, but this seems like the kind of place that would have the best ones.

“I'm fine, thanks,” Takahashi says while the woman cuts and lights Shizuo's cigar. Shizuo feels like he's stepped into someone else's life. He pictures Izaya here, next to him, probably chatting animatedly about the dangers of smoking. He's been particularly fond of sending Shizuo pictures of black lungs lately, especially while they're eating. Shizuo snorts softly, missing it. Missing Izaya.

Christ, it's only been a day.

“Still no word from Izaya-san?” Shiki asks. Shizuo considers how odd it is for a man like Shiki to ask personal questions, but then, Shiki does have reason to ask how Izaya is. Not to mention he probably needs a distraction from the fruitless endeavor that is this trip.

“No,” Shizuo says.

“Mm. Unusual, for him. I'd tell you to enjoy the silence. Knowing Izaya-san, it won't last,” Shiki says.

“You put up with a lot from him,” Shizuo mutters, sipping at his bourbon. It's expensive, smooth. It takes a lot for Shizuo to get drunk, but he wouldn't mind sipping at this for hours.

“He's a special case,” Shiki says. “A former associate of mine was very attached to Izaya-san. Still is, actually. They talk rather frequently.” Shiki must notice the look on Shizuo's face, because he's smirking and continuing without prompt. “Kine-san. I'm sure you've met him. A bald man who used to pick Izaya-san up from your school.”

“That guy?” Shizuo asks, remembering. “I thought he was some pervert. He used to watch us fight.”

“He was the one who introduced Izaya-san to us. I'm sure Izaya-san has mentioned his lack of...adult supervision. Kine-san meant to make this up to him.”

“Some job he did,” Shizuo says, and to his surprise, Shiki barks out a laugh.

“Some job anyone can do for someone like Izaya-san,” Shiki says.

“What happened to that other guy who was here yesterday? Eishi-san?” Shizuo asks, remembering the fat man who pissed him off.

“Eiji-san,” Shiki corrects. “He'll be going with us tomorrow evening, but I told him to stay behind today. He has a habit of putting his foot in his mouth.”

“Oh. Seems like a bad idea to bring him along, if that's the case.”

“He's disarming. People aren't threatened by him.”

Shizuo leans back then, puffs at his cigar while the others converse. Shiki is talking to Takahashi about their wives, and Shizuo finds it funny how mundane the atmosphere is, but then again, Shiki might have gotten all the partying and debauchery out of his system in younger years. Or maybe he's being calm on this trip because he knows how Shizuo is, and doesn't want to set him off.

By the time Shizuo is back in his room, he's tipsy and exhausted. He collapses into bed, fully dressed, and grunts as he kicks his shoes off. He's half-asleep already, and he finds himself reaching next to him for Izaya, his eyes opening when he remembers Izaya isn't there.

“Fuck,” he mutters, already feeling much more awake than before, and then furious all over again, because this is stupid, and he's so fucking tired.

He doesn't sleep well, and when he does fall into unconsciousness, it's fitful, dreams and images of Izaya strewing together until Shizuo is waking with a shout, covered in sweat, unable to recall anything about the dream aside from Izaya being in danger.

It's four in the morning. Shizuo doesn't care. He grabs for his phone, calls Izaya.

“ _What?”_ Izaya asks when he picks up, and Shizuo sits up, wasn't expecting Izaya to actually answer. _“Shizu-chan?”_

“Why— You sound so awake,” Shizuo says, holding the phone like it's a life jacket and the hotel room is the open ocean. It feels that way, suddenly, like Shizuo might be drowning.

“ _I'm not sleeping. I'm working.”_

“Working on what?” Shizuo asks, and Izaya sighs loudly.

“ _Why are_ you _awake? You sound out of it.”_

“I don't know. I just— I had a dream, I guess. It feels shitty, Izaya, without you here.”

“ _You can't go without sleeping while on a mission with Shiki-san,”_ Izaya says, ignoring what Shizuo is saying. _“You'll need to be on your toes in case things go badly, which they will. These guys aren't smart enough to join the Awakusu. I doubt Shiki-san would even allow it.”_

“Then why am I _here?”_ He pauses. “Why didn't you come?” Shizuo asks, feeling pathetic. Hearing Izaya isn't the same through the phone, just reminds Shizuo how far apart they currently are.

“ _Shiki-san is an excellent negotiator. They sent him to keep the peace, and they sent you along for insurance the peace is kept. I didn't go because I have my own things to do, and whether or not the Awakusu tames some outskirt group doesn't concern me,”_ Izaya says. _“I don't see why it concerns you, either.”_

“It doesn't. I wasn't thinking, okay? You pissed me off, and then I just...” Shizuo runs his hand through his hair, tugs. He's shit at talking about stuff like this, especially to Izaya, who always knows what to say. Shizuo does best when he can see Izaya in person and stop Izaya from running off, but nothing is stopping Izaya from hanging up the phone. “I don't want to be here anymore. I miss you,” Shizuo says at last, opting for honesty.

There's a pause and then shuffling on the other end of the phone. It doesn't sound like Izaya is being still.

“ _Poor Shizu-chan. You made a rash decision and now you're paying for it. Can you even sleep without me there?”_ Izaya asks. He sounds biting and cruel, unlike himself. Shizuo frowns.

“No, I can't. Izaya, you could've asked me not to go. If you wanted me to stay, you could've said so.”

“ _It's not my job to tell you what you want to do. Why would it matter what I wanted?”_

“It matters!” Shizuo snaps. He sighs and listens to Izaya's breaths on the other end of the phone. “It matters,” he repeats, softer. “I care what you want.”

“ _It's too late now, isn't it?”_ Izaya asks, and his voice is suddenly sad, sadder than Shizuo's ever heard it. _“You're gone, and I'm all by myself.”_

“What are you— Izaya, where are you?” Shizuo asks, realizing suddenly that he hears cars passing by on Izaya's side of the conversation.

“ _I made a mistake, Shizu-chan. I think I really fucked up.”_

“Okay, you what? Izaya?” There's the sound of running footsteps, fabric rustling, more cars. Shizuo can hear men shouting in the distance, and then a deafening bang rings out, makes Shizuo drop his phone in shock. He quickly scrambles to pick it back up. “Izaya?!”

“ _Why'd you...leave me, Shizu...?”_ Izaya asks, and then the line goes dead. Shizuo shouts into the phone and watches with horror as the hotel room fills with water from every direction, and before Shizuo can say anything else, it's over his head, filling his lungs—

He wakes with a wordless cry, his body covered with sweat. The room is soft with morning light, and when he reaches for his phone, he sees no new notifications from Izaya. A dream, of course it was a dream. Izaya isn't quite _that_ dramatic in reality, though his silence speaks volumes on its own. Shizuo groans and rubs his face, thumbs through his phone to see what he missed while sleeping.

Kasuka called the night before, not long after Shizuo passed out. Celty sent a quick message saying she'll pop in on Izaya tonight whether he likes it or not. Shizuo is already looking forward to how irritated Izaya will be about that, knows he can probably expect an angry call or text from Izaya by nightfall.

Knowing he won't be able to get back to sleep, Shizuo gets up and showers to wash off the sweat. He's always been a hot sleeper, so he's no stranger to waking up sweaty, though it's usually not _this_ bad. It's almost like his body is in a withdrawal of some kind, punishing him for being away from Izaya. Shizuo snorts at the thought. Izaya would be absolutely thrilled if he knew what Shizuo is thinking about.

“ _You're addicted to me? How sweet. I guess you'd better do as I say then?”_ Izaya would say, his eyes bright and his grin sharp. Shizuo would be helpless to do anything other than kiss the glint of Izaya's teeth, and then Izaya would make that soft, barely audible little noise he makes every time Shizuo kisses him. Shizuo's hand wanders to his dick while the thoughts continue, and when he comes, he pictures Izaya beneath him, eagerly lapping it up.

“Fuck,” Shizuo mutters, his breathing returning to normal as visions of Izaya fade. When did Shizuo become so used to having someone else around? He used to think he needed people, but not be a part of them. He preferred being on the outskirts, at a safe distance where someone was less likely to piss him off or get hurt when Shizuo _was_ inevitably pissed off. Somehow Izaya, parasite that he is, has gotten deep underneath Shizuo's skin, burrowed there and made himself at home.

“Maybe a flea isn't the right term,” Shizuo says to himself as he uses a washrag to rub shitty hotel soap on his skin. “More like a tapeworm. An amoeba.” He wonders which would piss Izaya off more.

When he's clean, he gets out and towels off, dressing in the clothes Izaya packed for him. Shizuo is buttoning the jacket of his suit when he decides to call Kasuka back, not liking the way he looks like a stranger in the mirror.

“ _Good morning, brother. You're up early,”_ Kasuka says when he picks up. Shizuo smiles.

“Yeah, I'm on a job. Also, I slept like shit. What's up?”

“ _A job? What kind of job?”_ Kasuka asks. Shizuo hates to tell the truth about this, but he won't lie to his brother.

“I'm with Izaya's boss as a bodyguard. It shouldn't take more than another day,” Shizuo says.

“ _That's...surprising. Izaya-san isn't with you? I thought Ruri mentioned having lunch with him later,”_ Kasuka says.

“Those two are spending a lot of time together,” Shizuo grumbles. He doesn't hate the idea of them getting along, and he isn't jealous because he knows nothing would ever happen between Izaya and Ruri. He just wants to be there with them, and not here in this stuffy suit he hates. “No, Izaya isn't with me.”

“ _Even more surprising,”_ Kasuka says. _“I called to see if you wanted to meet up since Ruri is busy, but I'll find something else to do. I'm not used to having free time like this.”_

“Still no callback, huh?” Shizuo asks.

“ _Oh, they called. My agent is negotiating a contract, so I'm left to wait. Either way, Ruri says I'm not invited to lunch because the two of them are going to gossip, and according to her, I'm no fun because I don't participate.”_

Shizuo snorts. “They _would_ gossip.”

“ _It's good for Ruri, though. She rarely gets to indulge in things, and she has fun with Izaya-san. Isn't it funny how things turned out?”_ Kasuka asks, and his voice doesn't change, but Shizuo can hear the happiness. Shizuo smiles, picturing Izaya and Ruri over lunch, tipping their champagne glasses together and gossiping and giggling. Maybe it's good for Izaya, too, who doesn't have many people in his life aside from those who use him for his knowledge and resources.

“Yeah,” Shizuo says, and he wants so badly to be home. He's never gotten homesick like this before in the few instances where he traveled, but then again, he didn't have things to miss. Kasuka rarely has breaks like this, and Shizuo used to hate Izaya. Or at least, he thought he hated Izaya.

“ _Call me when you're home. Safe travels,”_ Kasuka says.

“Yeah, I will. See you soon,” Shizuo says, and he ends the call. The silence he's left with is deafening, and he hurries to meet Shiki and the others before he can think too much about it.

***

More meetings, more rubbing elbows. At least Shiki seems as annoyed with the others as Shizuo is, and Shizuo thinks of what Izaya said in his dream, something about Shiki never allowing these guys to join. Shizuo wonders if there's any truth in that, if his subconscious is trying to tell him something. But then what would the point of this trip even be? Is there a point at all?

They wind up leaving a while after lunch, the meeting they were supposed to have with the ones in charge pushed back to the following evening. Shizuo grinds his teeth in the car back to the hotel. It means another day here, and likely another sleepless night. He already feels stretched too thin, his hands itching with the need to do... _something_. He can't place the feeling, and he chalks it up to needing a cigarette.

He declines the offer to join Shiki and the others for a drink. Shizuo is exhausted, and he wants to get out of the suit, maybe order room service and chat with Izaya before bed. If Izaya would just talk to him for a while, Shizuo thinks maybe he'd be able to sleep. He just has a bad feeling that Izaya is getting into something and putting himself in danger. Shizuo would never forgive himself if something happened to Izaya while Shizuo was gone, and Izaya knows that, is definitely vindictive enough to get into trouble for the hell of it and make Shizuo worry.

He changes into his sweatpants and a T-shirt before dialing room service. He orders a burger and a beer, cringes at the prices. Shiki told him to charge to the room, so all he'll have to do is sign for it when it arrives. He sits back on the bed and jumps when his phone rings.

It's Shinra.

“ _Shizuo-kun!”_ Shinra greets. _“We went to check on Izaya-kun for you, since you're so wracked with worry.”_

“Yeah? And how is he?” Shizuo asks, rubbing his temple. Shinra gives him a headache even on a good day, and Shizuo feels far from fine.

“ _I have no idea! He wasn't there.”_

“Wasn't there?” Shizuo asks. “Did you call him?”

“ _Of course I— Wait, have_ you _called him? Is he not answering you? That's hilarious. You must've really made him mad if he's stopped talking! Hahaha!”_ Shizuo growls, and then there's the sound of a fist making impact, and of Shinra crying out in pain. _“Celty...! Owwww, okay, okay.”_

“Thanks, Celty,” Shizuo calls through the phone, hoping she hears.

“ _See if I do you any more favors,”_ Shinra says.

“Did Izaya answer when you called?” Shizuo asks, ignoring Shinra's whining.

“ _Ah. Yes, but only to tell me to fuck off. He said to tell you he doesn't need monitoring, and he'll see you when you get home. Then he hung up on me.”_

“Fucking flea,” Shizuo hisses, mostly to himself. Shinra hums in agreement.

“ _Sorry, Shizuo-kun! I'm sure he just went out to investigate the latest murder,”_ Shinra says, and Shizuo's eyes widen.

“There's been another one?” Shizuo asks.

“ _Yeah, it's all over the news. I thought Izaya-kun mentioned he was looking into it, right? He might be at the crime scene or something, talking to the girl's contacts.”_ Shinra sounds very unbothered by it all, but Shizuo feels like he needs to go home immediately, like Izaya is face to face with whoever the hell is raping and murdering women in the city.

“Fuck,” Shizuo says, closing his eyes.

“ _He'll be fine,”_ Shinra says dismissively. _“Anyway, we're going home now! I'll see you when you return!”_ He hangs up before Shizuo can say anything else, and Shizuo is left with the silence of the room until his phone dings with a message.

 _Are you okay?_ It's from Celty.

 _I shouldn't have come on this stupid trip_ Shizuo sends in reply.

 _It's...unusual for you, but you have a habit of doing strange things when you're angry, especially if Izaya is the one making you angry. You'll be home soon and then you can put it behind you!_ Celty replies. Shizuo tries to think of what to say back and finds he can't. He can't prove anything is unusual or wrong, but he has a feeling, and feelings are really all he has to go by where Izaya is concerned.

His food arrives, and Shizuo thanks the kid that brings it. He opens the beer and sips at it, finding it odd that he's been surrounded by food this entire trip, but somehow he picks at it every time and never feels satisfied. It's the same with the overpriced burger, and Shizuo finds himself wishing he hadn't ordered in. At least if he went out with the others, he wouldn't be alone with his thoughts.

Mindlessly, he turns on the TV and flicks through the channels until he settles on a news report that's talking about the latest murder victim. It's being filmed live where the body was discovered earlier. Shizuo recognizes the area; it's located in front of a small alley behind a dive bar, one Shizuo used to pass by pretty frequently before moving to Shinjuku. Shizuo watches the people in the background and wonders if Izaya is there somewhere off-screen, poking around and making a menace of himself. Shizuo mentioned before that he didn't understand why Shiki would ask Izaya to look into this when the police were already involved, but Izaya only laughed and said Shiki has a complex about keeping the city neat.

“ _The Yakuza is paid to keep things orderly, Shizu-chan. Believe it or not, there's a lot of honor involved, at least where Shiki-san is concerned. Now get OFF me—“_ Izaya had shoved Shizuo off, and then Shizuo tackled him, and Izaya didn't get anymore sleuthing done that night. Shizuo works with Izaya, and he's gone to and from many places attached to Izaya's side, but even now, Shizuo doesn't exactly know how to describe what Izaya... _does_. Izaya talks a lot, goes to lots of meetings, snoops into personal files on people's computers, and buys and sells things. Somehow, this makes Izaya one of the most dangerous men in the city, but Shizuo doesn't guess he has to understand it. He just has to keep Izaya safe while Izaya wreaks havoc.

Shizuo wrings his hands together before taking his phone out again. He sends Izaya a text.

_I have to stay another night_

Ten minutes go by. Shizuo tries to focus on the details of the news report, but he can't. He keeps glancing at his phone like it's a bomb, and when it finally goes off, he dives for it as if it's going to run from him.

 _Poor you._ Izaya sent. Shizuo waits a little longer, but nothing else comes through. He grinds his teeth together.

_Where are you? Call me._

No reply. Shizuo feels all the rage he usually associates with Izaya, the all-encompassing kind, the kind that makes him not give a shit what he does or who he has to go through to get to Izaya's stupidly smug face. He's about to call Izaya and leave a screaming, incoherent voicemail, but Izaya sends another text right as he picks up the phone.

_I'm very busy. Can't talk now, maybe tomorrow._

Shizuo knows he isn't going to get anything else from Izaya tonight. He swallows, considers asking Izaya to send a picture, not even a dirty one. Just anything. He shakes the thought away as soon as it comes, knowing if he saw a picture of Izaya's face, it'd make being away from him even more difficult.

“God, what the fuck is wrong with me?” Shizuo mutters. He thinks about going down to the bar, but decides against it. It would take too much alcohol to even get him close to tipsy, and Shizuo doesn't want to be drunk. He doesn't even really want to smoke, but he does, goes to his balcony and lights up while glaring at the sky. Nothing is going to satisfy this craving he has aside from Izaya, and even hearing his voice and seeing his face wouldn't be enough. Shizuo needs the warmth of Izaya's skin, the scent of him, the way he clings and gasps when Shizuo touches him. Anything else will only piss Shizuo off.

Again, he doesn't sleep well. He falls into it easily enough, so tired from his fitful, sporadic bouts of sleep, but then he's jerking awake again, fully conscious, and it takes a long time of watching shitty TV before he even feels relaxed enough to close his eyes. His phone dings once in the night, but it's an email, something about a sale on a site he ordered a shirt from once. He wakes up to it in the morning and fights not to throw his phone into the wall.

As he's getting ready for the day, Izaya's note in the pocket of today's suit, a dark blue one, tailored perfectly, Shizuo decides no matter what happens, he's leaving tonight. He can't stand another night here while Izaya does flea bullshit hours away, too busy or too stubborn to answer the phone. Shiki will either understand, or he won't, but Shizuo isn't too worried about the man's opinion; he doesn't work for Shiki, and clearly, being away from Izaya isn't something Shizuo is capable of anymore.

He meets Shiki and the others in the lobby. Shiki looks as tired as Shizuo feels, dark circles and bags under his eyes. Shizuo wonders if the others stayed out late last night, or if perhaps Shiki has other stressors. Surely a man of power like Shiki is always having to handle things. It sounds exhausting to Shizuo, who really never wanted to be a big name in Ikebukuro to begin with. He'd much rather walk down the street and have no one recognize him, and Izaya often scoffs at Shizuo when he mentions it, says Shizuo would be bored if he truly had the peaceful life he fawns over. Shizuo is beginning to think Izaya is right about that, because any life with Izaya in it will never be peaceful, and Shizuo has already accepted that.

“Today should be our last,” Shiki says, breaking Shizuo from his reverie. “I'm sure you're as ready to leave as I am.”

Shizuo nods. “I don't think I'll be taking any more trips.”

“Not without that pretty—“ Eiji starts, but he shuts up the second Shizuo's head turns toward him. “Ah. Never mind.”

Grumbling, Shizuo follows after Shiki to the car, and once they're seated, Shizuo looks up plane tickets leaving in the evening. They're ridiculously overpriced, so he looks at train tickets instead.

It's basically a repeat of the day before, and by the time they're filing into the office, Shizuo has chewed a hole in his cheek in his efforts to not tell each and every one of them to fuck themselves. He stands next to Takahashi, behind Shiki and Eiji, and the others are in front of them, across the room. Shizuo recognizes the two men they met before, but there are others as well, a lot of them, none of them particularly noteworthy. In front of them stands a tall man, rings on his fingers that glint in the light, and Shizuo wants to laugh at the man's attempts of having a beard. It's patchy, comically so, and Shizuo wonders why the man wouldn't just shave it off at this point.

“Thank you for coming,” the man says with a bow, and Shiki and Eiji return it. Takahashi and Shizuo remain upright, Takahashi probably to look imposing, and Shizuo because he doesn't want to be here or be polite.

“How wonderful of you to finally meet with us, Yoshida-san,” Shiki says.

“Yes, I'm sorry about yesterday. It was really just bad timing. I'm sure you understand,” Yoshida says. He grins, and Shizuo notices a gold tooth. “Now then, how many I help you, Shiki-san? I was surprised to hear someone like you wanted to meet with me.”

“Someone like me?” Shiki asks, his voice nothing but pleasant. Yoshida's smile falters a bit.

“Awakusu,” Yoshida specifies. “It's amazing such a behemoth would even notice our little group.”

“I notice when people make trouble in my territory,” Shiki says. “Surely you know I've got enough to deal with.”

“Right, that killer and all. Hollywood first, then another soon after? How rough. I sympathize,” Yoshida says, and a few of the men behind him chuckle.

“Serial murderers aside,” Eiji interjects, smiling kindly, “we've noticed many of the men causing issues claim to be members of your faction.”

“Ikebukuro is home to many groups,” Yoshida says. “It seems there's a new color gang every day, and I'm sure you have your own rivals to deal with.”

“The color gangs fight amongst themselves,” Shiki says, a hard edge to his voice. “When they drift, we handle them.”

“Is that what you're doing? Handling us?” Yoshida asks.

“If I must. Drugs are being sold behind bars _we_ run, and people are dying as a result of those, and of your shoddy leadership. When these things happen, the police get involved, and then questions start flying around. It's my job to keep the peace. Whether or not you cooperate is up to you.”

“Mm. Seems to me like you're here because you think you'll do a better job handling us than all the other chaos going on. If you're spiraling, it makes sense that you'd grab onto us first. Then you can tell the people who pay you that you've taken care of us, meanwhile, serial killers are running around.” Yoshida grins again. “You didn't come here for diplomacy, not when you claim to have Heiwajima-san with you.”

“Claim?” Shiki asks.

“That guy looks pretty thin to be able to do the things we've heard about.”

“I see,” Shiki says, and Shizuo's shoulders tense in anticipation. “So then, where does this leave us? Are you going to deny the Awakusu's demands you leave the city?”

“And if we do?”

There's a tense silence, all of them waiting for the others to make a move. Shizuo glares, his eyes on that stupid gold tooth. Everything about it pisses him off. A phone rings out shrilly, and it's coming from Yoshida, who doesn't break eye contact with Shiki.

“By all means,” Shiki drawls.

Yoshida narrows his eyes before taking his phone out of his pocket. He looks at the number and then smirks, answering. He puts it on speaker.

“ _Yoshida-san, I trust you're still in one piece?”_ A woman's voice says. Shizuo stiffens, recognizing it immediately. Izaya's secretary.

“Thank you for getting back to me, Nakura-san,” Yoshida says, and Shizuo doesn't think that sounds right.

“ _Sorry to keep you waiting, but business is booming. Is the meeting finished?”_

“We're in the middle of it, actually.”

“ _Ah. I'll keep this brief then. Based on my sources, the Awakusu intend to rub you out. The meeting is a formality, but I'm sure some part of you knew that already,”_ “Nakura” says. There's a rustling in the room, and Shizuo turns his head to see one of the men behind Yoshida draw a gun. Shizuo's teeth clench. _“If I were you, I'd attack first.”_

“And Heiwajima-san?” Yoshida asks, his eyes on Shizuo. “I told you, they claim to have him along.”

“ _If it_ is _him, you're as good as dead already.”_

Yoshida growls. “Tall, blonde, sunglasses, suit—“

“ _Suit? No, no. Heiwajima-san wears a bartender outfit. He's infamous for it, actually. He'd never wear a suit, it's not his style. You should be fine. He's likely a distraction to stop you aiming for the others first.”_

Shizuo wants to laugh, but he's too pissed off. Finally, something is happening, and before any of them can react, he lunges toward the man with the gun, disarming him easily. Before the man can say a word, Shizuo's fist is in his face, and then Shizuo turns, aiming for that stupid gold tooth this time.

It's chaos after that. Shizuo is too far gone to notice the details. His heart is pounding, so loud in his ears that he doesn't hear anything else. His body moves on its own, and any injuries he sustains are numb to him, even as his knuckles bust open and bleed from the intensity of his punches. Everything he's been feeling these past few days, all the anxiety and withdrawal, he lets it out, and it feels so fucking _good_ that he doesn't think he'll be able to stop himself.

Vaguely, he recognizes pressure on his shoulder, and he whirls around, aiming to punch whatever the fuck it is, but then he hears something that makes him freeze.

“ _Shizu-chan!”_ Izaya. Shizuo blinks until he realizes Izaya is on Shiki's phone, a video-call. Shizuo exhales deeply, the sight of Izaya like a soothing balm over the burn in his blood.

“Izaya... You— What the _fuck_ , Izaya?! Where have you _been?_ ”

“ _You don't need to fight them anymore, not unless you want them dead,”_ Izaya says. He's tilting his head against his hand. Behind him is the view from his apartment, and Shizuo notices it's raining there. _“You look pretty rough, Shizu-chan, but I'll bet you were a sight in that suit before you ruined it.”_

Shizuo takes deep breaths. He can suddenly feel the pain in his fingers, but it's distant, a low-level throb as the adrenaline wears off. He remembers he's supposed to be angry at Izaya, but it's hard when every bit of him is screaming to leap into the phone and kiss the smirk off Izaya's lips.

“Would I be right in assuming you know who this Nakura person is?” Shiki asks as Izaya and Shizuo stare at each other. Izaya laughs.

“ _I told you, didn't I, that this trip was pointless?”_

“You have some _nerve_ , Izaya-san,” Shiki says, and Shizuo knows he should hand the phone back to Shiki, but he can't. “You were told to stay out of this.”

“ _Ah, but you said that before I finished the job you gave me! I thought you meant you wanted me to stay focused on the task at hand. My apologies; I misunderstood.”_

“Christ, you and your petty bullshit,” Shiki says, but Shizuo notices he doesn't seem particularly angry.

“ _Besides, I have others working with me. I was barely involved.”_ Izaya grins at Shizuo. _“They sought me out and asked for information on you immediately after your trip was announced. I told them I couldn't help them, and then I referred them to Nakura-san.”_

“Right, and was this before or after Shizuo-san agreed to accompany me?”

“ _Does that matter?”_ Izaya asks, and Shizuo can tell Shiki is trying hard to look stern despite the fact Izaya can't even see him. _“You wanted them taken care of, and Shizu-chan handled it. Now rumors will spread that he's working with you.”_

“Under your supervision, of course.” Shiki pinches the bridge of his nose and exhales. “You've given me at least a handful of gray hairs since meeting you, Izaya-san.”

“ _You can come home now, right?”_ Izaya asks Shizuo, and Shizuo nods. _“Good. I'm booking the flight now. I'll text you details. Shall I handle arrangements for you too, Shiki-san?”_

“I'll remain another day. I need to clean this up and handle any loose ends. Akabayashi-san is handling our killer, right?” Shiki asks.

“ _Yes, you'll get your turn with him.”_

“Good.”

“The— Izaya, you found the killer?” Shizuo asks, and Izaya's smile grows.

“ _I told you I was working, didn't I? You picked a bad time to leave, Shizu-chan, but I handled it.”_

Gently, Shiki takes the phone from Shizuo. He motions to the door. “I'll be in touch. The driver will take you to the hotel and then to the airport.” He puts a hand on Shizuo's shoulder. “Good work.”

***

It's all a blur from there. Shizuo doesn't bother cleaning his wounds, just runs into his room and throws everything in his case, much messier than Izaya did. It doesn't matter to him how it looks. Izaya found a flight leaving very soon, and Shizuo isn't going to wait around for the next one.

By the time he's back in Shinjuku, back stiff from the flight and then the cab ride home, Shizuo is ready to drop into bed and sleep for days. He yawns as he exits the elevator, and he glares down at his bloodied knuckles, which have dried into a crusty, throbbing mess. He'll wash them in little while, maybe splash some alcohol on them. That's all Shinra does anyway, except Shinra charges out the ass for it.

Shizuo steps into the apartment and feels all the tension drain from him immediately. It's like stepping into a hot bath on a freezing day, calming and soothing, something to look forward to. He doesn't see Izaya at first, but he sees two other silhouettes, and he groans, leaving his luggage where it is as he walks to the couch where they're seated.

“Shizu-nii is back!” Mairu says happily, but her voice is lowered. Between her and Kururi is Izaya, sprawled out, his head in Kururi's lap as he snoozes.

“Shizu- _nii?”_ Shizuo asks incredulously.

“Basically, right? When you marry nii-san anyway.” She waves her hand. “Oh, but you can't actually marry him, you know? Then we'd be related to Yuhei-san, and... Well, it's not a _deal-breaker,_ but—“

“Shh,” Kururi interjects. She's petting through Izaya's hair. “He's sleeping.”

“You're bloody,” Mairu says to Shizuo. “You're not gonna touch Iza-nii with gross hands, right? Not very romantic.”

“Is there an off button on you?” Shizuo asks, grimacing. She leers up at him with an expression that's so like Izaya that Shizuo is tempted to find a vending machine and lift it for old time's sake. “Why are you here?”

“It's been a while since we stayed the night, and Iza-nii didn't object too much. He was probably lonely without you,” Mairu says.

“We like his TV,” Kururi adds, and Mairu nods emphatically.

“He hasn't let us over much since you moved in! It's unfair, you know? We were here first.”

“We'll share,” Kururi says.

Shizuo considers flopping down onto the couch and leaving this conversation for later, but that's not what he wants. He leans over, careful not to jostle Izaya too much as he lifts. Of course, Izaya wakes anyway. He's a very light sleeper.

“Shizu-chan?” he asks.

“Yeah, it's me.”

“Welcome home.” Izaya yawns and curls into Shizuo, fingering the collar of Shizuo's wrinkled suit jacket.

“We're going to bed,” Shizuo says, leveling a look at the twins. “I don't care what you do, but stay down here.”

“As if we want to see Iza-nii getting pounded,” Mairu says, and Shizuo's face feels like it's on fire.

“For fuck's sake! Do any of you have an ounce of— I don't know! Humility!”

Three identical pairs of eyes give Shizuo the same look, and he figures that's an answer in itself.

Shizuo carries Izaya upstairs and sets him on the bed. Izaya watches him undress almost smugly, lounging on his side and observing every inch of skin Shizuo uncovers like Izaya is a king looking upon his treasures.

“Your hands,” Izaya says.

“It's not bad,” Shizuo says, and Izaya snorts. Shizuo's missed that stupid snort so much.

“Well, I doubt many injuries would be _bad_ for you. You still should have cleaned it. Go wash your hands and bring me the box,” Izaya says, sitting up. Shizuo does just that, not bothering to argue. He's too tired, and too happy to be back where he belongs.

He sits across from Izaya on the bed, watching as Izaya's hands dab alcohol on the open wounds. It burns, but Shizuo feels medicated almost, too subdued to really notice the sting as more than a passing thought.

“You look exhausted,” Izaya says. He starts wrapping bandages around Shizuo's hand.

“I didn't sleep.”

“Mm. Neither did I.”

Shizuo leans in, buries his face in Izaya's hair and inhales deeply. He hums and lowers his head, nuzzles against Izaya's cheek. Their noses brush together, and then Shizuo kisses Izaya, gently at first, and then deeply, his wrapped hand coming to tangle in Izaya's hair as Izaya makes that soft little noise that drives Shizuo crazy.

“Fuck,” Shizuo murmurs, and then he's kissing Izaya harder, plunging as deeply inside Izaya's mouth as he can, his hands keeping Izaya's head in place in case Izaya tries to pull away.

“Your other hand,” Izaya murmurs against his lips, and Shizuo growls at him, shoves him down and presses him into the sheets. “I'm not done tending to your monster claws.”

“Tend to _me_ ,” Shizuo says. He spreads Izaya's legs and settles between them, grinding their dicks together. Izaya groans, his head falling back.

“You don't taste like cigarettes,” Izaya says, and Shizuo grins.

“Had a much worse craving than cigarettes. It's been driving me crazy.”

“Oh? Am I more pressing than nicotine?” Izaya asks, and he gasps when Shizuo bites down onto his neck.

“You're nagging. Needling. _Insistent,”_ Shizuo growls, his tongue lapping at the droplets of blood oozing from the bite. “I've been fucking— _God_ , Izaya, I can't be away from you anymore.”

“No one said you had to be,” Izaya says, and he tangles his fingers in Shizuo's hair, yanking at the golden strands like they're a lifeline. “No one made you go.”

“You said you didn't need me here,” Shizuo says, and Izaya rolls his eyes.

“What do you want me to say? You want me to say I need you, that I'm hopelessly addicted to you? That I don't think of anything else but you?”

“Would you mean it if you said those things?” Shizuo asks, and he groans when Izaya yanks harder at his hair.

“I've _said_ all this before. How many times do I have to tell you how pathetically in love with you I am?”

Shizuo can't control himself anymore after that. He yanks Izaya's pants off, ripping them to shreds in his eagerness, and Izaya doesn't chastise, just lifts his hips to make it easier for Shizuo. Neither of says another word as Shizuo works his fingers inside Izaya, their eyes locked together until Izaya's close in pleasure as Shizuo presses against that bundle of nerves inside him.

“Please,” Izaya gasps.

“Tell me to never leave again,” Shizuo says, and he doesn't think it comes off as very commanding. It's a plea, and both of them hear it. “Tell me you need me with you.”

“I _do_ ,” Izaya says, and when he opens his eyes again, Shizuo focuses on how tired Izaya looks, how messy his hair is, how dark the circles under his eyes are. “Don't leave, never leave me, what else do you want me to _say?_ ”

Shizuo removes his fingers, braces himself over Izaya, and pushes inside, both of them melting together bonelessly as if they've been given a shot of something strong they've needed badly. Shizuo buries his face in Izaya's neck and thrusts his hips almost languidly, and Izaya's entire body wraps around him, pulls him deeper inside like a trap Shizuo never intends to free himself from.

He thought their reunion sex would be quick and frantic, but it's the opposite. It's slow and intimate, and Shizuo loses himself in the feeling of Izaya around him. He moans when Izaya comes, Izaya's hole clenching and milking Shizuo's dick until Shizuo follows suit. Neither of them moves, and while Shizuo wants to go again, he's not especially eager.

“I love you,” Shizuo murmurs into Izaya's neck. “And I want to kill you for not answering your fucking _phone_.”

“I really was busy. I was close to finding out who the killer was, and then another body turned up. It was easier after that. I set a trap for him, and he fell into it.” Izaya traces patterns in Shizuo's skin while he talks.

“A trap?” Shizuo asks.

“Ruri-chan,” Izaya says, and he grins widely when Shizuo pulls back to look at him. “She's his type, you know? The guy did just as we suspected.”

“You enlisted a _celebrity_ to help you hand over a rapist to the Yakuza?” Shizuo asks. “My brother's _girlfriend?_ ”

“Oh, please,” Izaya says. “She's a killer, too. She was never in any danger. Besides, her being there made Akabayashi-san warm up to me a little. She gave him an autograph.”

“Izaya. Fuck.”

“So now a raping murderer is off the streets, and Shiki-san's little rival gang sealed their own fate by attacking you. It all worked out like I knew it would.”

“This whole time— I was just asked to go as a clean-up crew? That's it?” Shizuo asks. He's not offended, just confused. “Shiki-san could have handled that without me.”

“He could have, but it was about more than getting some thugs off the street. He wanted to send a message. Two messages, actually. The first is that you're on the side of the Awakusu. Other groups won't know you're not an official member. That doesn't matter. Word will spread that you went on this trip, and more people will fall in line with what Shiki-san wants,” Izaya says.

“And the second message?”

“Shiki-san hoped to humble me by taking you away from me. He'd never admit to it, of course, but he wanted to leave me alone and remind me who's in charge.” Izaya smirks. “I'm sure he's pleased with himself.”

“That's not... Izaya, I wouldn't have left if I thought it would actually bother you.” Shizuo clenches the fabric of the sheets, cursing softly. “If something had happened to you...”

“I'm not fragile, you know.” Izaya hugs tighter around Shizuo. “You don't have to worry so much about my safety.”

“I don't think you're fragile. I think you're fucking crazy.”

Izaya laughs. “Did Shiki-san seem very angry?”

“No. I think he was glad you goaded them into action. He wanted it to be over with. I don't think he's been sleeping much either.”

“Oh, he hasn't.” Izaya's grin turns into a leer. “I kept him up all night by sending him frequent updates. He's kicking himself that he didn't get to meet Ruri-chan as well. Akabayashi-san bragged about it extensively.”

Shizuo chuckles in spite of himself, and he nuzzles back into Izaya's neck. “You're terrible, you know that? Absolutely awful.”

“He needed to suffer,” Izaya says simply. “You're _mine_. No one should take you from me, no matter how short the time-frame is supposed to be.”

Shizuo hums in agreement, and he feels Izaya softening under him, both of them sinking further into the sheets of the bed. Shizuo lifts his hips, and Izaya makes an indignant noise.

“Stay inside me...” Izaya murmurs, tightening his legs around Shizuo. “Just a little longer, want to feel you a little longer...”

Shizuo obliges, pleased as he always is when Izaya asks this of him. Izaya's voice is heavy with sleep, and Shizuo pets down Izaya's sides, kisses Izaya's neck.

“You falling asleep, flea?” Shizuo asks, and Izaya hums.

“You're home,” Izaya says, halfway out of it, and Shizuo doesn't have to ask for an elaboration on what Izaya might mean.

“I'm home,” Shizuo replies, and as Izaya drifts off into unconsciousness, Shizuo knows he'll never leave Izaya's side again, not for anything in the world.

**Author's Note:**

> No one ask me where this series is going. I'm vibing. I'll figure it out, and until then, we'll all just hang out. 
> 
> Talk to me on [tumblr](https://sachigram.tumblr.com/). We talk about Shizuo being a Himbo there.


End file.
